i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
