too bad you live with your parents still
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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