i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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