What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
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That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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