3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
