the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
