I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
