so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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