But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
