he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
