This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
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woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
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…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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