to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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