On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just pee around me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
