so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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