I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
