If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Come see our sink grown plant.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you inspire me to be a worse person
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
