I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
