# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
