bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
