she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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