Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
