glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
