She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
