At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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