Having a random hookup so left but love u
i would punch a child for taco bell
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize