I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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