Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
