why didn't you poke me back
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
