its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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