My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize