My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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