Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
