Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize