ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
