Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
