She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
