im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
