So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
