So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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