I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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