so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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