My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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