So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
