She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
