if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
