help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
