Screwed.edu
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
