I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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