Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
