then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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