I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We need to get me chipped asap
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