I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want a musical about memes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize