i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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