I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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