you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
