You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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