Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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