You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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