do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is wine microwaveable?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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