I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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