i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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