It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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