I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
