I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
