There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
