There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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