All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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