Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
